- Feel the love, but do the legwork
- Love for storytelling obvious
- Kiat kiat untuk Sembuhkan Patah Hati
Posted: 02 Jan 2011 02:34 AM PST
What warning signs should I look for when considering whether to get married? Sure, you feel you are in love. But don't let your libido control your logic or instincts.
Most of my more than 8,000 family-law clients ignored big, red, blinking warning signs. If, instead, they'd run the other way, they would not have needed my services.
Ask yourself if there's anything your lover does that is a sign of a serious problem now or could be down the road.
Does he often drink to excess? Does she often do drugs? Have you ever been threatened or physically or verbally abused? If so, did you stay after the other person cried, apologized, sent flowers and promised to never, ever do it again?
Do you get lots of text messages and e-mails asking where you are and what you're doing?
There's nothing acceptable, cute or forgivable about such conduct. Staying means you're enabling bad conduct to continue to harm you.
Do you know your lover's full medical and psychological history? If not, ask and get all of those details.
Was your intended in a prior relationship? If so, go to the courthouse to look at that file. If the file is impounded, ask your intended to go with you so they can get that file for you to read. If your intended objects, asking "Don't you trust me?" your answer needs to be: "Not now" and, if necessary, "I'm out of here."
These are just the tip of iceberg of warning signs. If you've seen or experienced any of these problems, or if you're concerned about something not listed here, listen to your instincts – not the other person's explanations. End this relationship now. Otherwise, years into the marriage, you'll end up in a very bad place.
Staying means children you may have will be harmed more than you can ever know. So, if you have kids, take them with you. If need be, the police can take you to a safe house.
Hire an experienced family-law lawyer who knows how to seek needed court orders for your protection, support, alimony, medical insurance, etc.
Even if you never meet a decent, loving, honest person who treats you with respect and is there when you need him or her, you'll still be far better off than if you'd entered into or stayed in a relationship you knew, deep down, from the start, was going to cause you harm. bostonherald.com.
Posted: 02 Jan 2011 02:27 AM PST
“Every life deserves a book,” the protagonist of Raising Orion tells her love interest during their first encounter.
“Some would be more interesting than others,” he replies.
“Perhaps it's more in the telling of the tale than the tale itself,” she offers.
A revealing motivation for the work here — a busy story populated with historical asides and colourful walk-ons — which is more concerned with detailing the relationships between people and places than the mechanics of plot.
In his latest offering, Atlantic Canada's most industrious author writes both a soft critique and a love letter to his adopted hometown of Halifax. Raising Orion comprises a loosely plotted romance between a Winslow Street bookstore owner and a University of Ottawa history professor and, early on, the omniscient narrator says, “Here towards tail end of the twentieth century, Halifax had belatedly and sadly become a modern city. And that meant everyone was in a hurry and confused.”
This assessment is echoed some time later in a description of metro's skyline: the out-of-place towers and “stomach-turning casino.” But Choyce seems to regard Halifax's deterioration as symptomatic of a larger cultural shift, not an isolated decline. His criticisms are expressions of his affection, much in the way a needle delivers medicine. It may sting, but it's supposed to be good for us.
As the sages say, “Better the criticism of a friend than the kiss of an enemy.”
A well-known surfer and local environmental activist, Choyce moved from New Jersey to Nova Scotia in 1979. He then founded Pottersfield Press, where he publishes many of his own titles along with Maritime-interest selections, such as 2010's notable Hermit of Africville by Jon Tattrie and Under the Electric Sky by Christopher A. Walsh.
Prof. Eric, reeling from a divorce and sick of teaching Canadian history to undergrads at the University of Ottawa, leaves his job and embarks on a fatalistic Arctic trip. But (hardly a spoiler) he miraculously survives and moves to Halifax on a whim to start over.
He meets and, predictably, falls in love with the enigmatic Molly. Their courtship dance is filled with hiccups and stumbles, but Eric and Molly are two of a kind in their lostness, and share an adoration of the escape books offer.
Although Eric is tired of teaching history, he never tires of contemplating it: he uses his time in Nova Scotia to research a book about “the history of truth” and the main narrative fre-quently digresses at length into the real-life histories of notable men such as Arthur Dobbs, Martine Frobisher, Henry Larsen and Prince Edward, among others.
This “mise en abyme” technique often stretches too far (and doesn't nest comfortably with the fictitious foreground) to provide parallel psychological or symbolic significance, but Choyce's genuine love for story is plainly evident. And so it's Raising Orion's lexophilia — from the bookstore setting to the innumerable books mentioned — which redeems its per- ipheral sins.
Conflict sparks when magnetic Molly begins a series of unlikely visits with Todd, the 14-year-old nephew of her friend, Grace. Todd is in the IWK Health Centre with a serious disease, and work limits his parents' treks down from New Brunswick to the weekends. Molly is asked to keep the sick teen company and she does so with characteristic compassion and good humour.
Todd, like all men in the novel, is quickly enchanted by Molly's calming, eccentric ways and his feelings towards her intensify as they spend more time together.
Though Molly acknowledges his crush to herself, she continues her attempts — misguided and improper as they are — to comfort the sick boy. Criminal charges soon follow. A motley crew of acquaintances and customers rally to her defence, but the subplot takes a tragic turn.
A succinct precis of Choyce's guiding philosophy and the book's overarching message can be found in the note Eric's wife leaves upon leaving him: “Love all things equally. The universe is one.”
Megan Power holds an MA in creative writing. She lives in Halifax. Visit her blog: meganpower.blogspot.com, thechronicleherald.ca.
Posted: 01 Jan 2011 11:39 PM PST
Putus cinta memang sesuatu yang tak mudah. Tetapi, jika jalinan cinta sudah berjalan buruk, berpisah dianggap sebagai sesuatu jalan terbaik.
Memang tak mudah menghadapinya karena proses pemulihan bisa saja menjadi lebih lama. Namun, untuk terus mempertahankannya juga belum tentu membuat Anda bahagia.
Dengan kata lain, semakin buruk hubungan ini, maka semakin sulit untuk bergerak. Agar Anda tak berada dalam situasi seperti ini, Anda perlu tahu bagaimana untuk mengatasi pahitnya putus cinta.
Agar Anda tak berada dalam situasi seperti ini, Anda perlu tahu bagaimana untuk mengatasi pahitnya putus cinta seperti dikutip dari methodsofthealing.
1. Dapatkan dukungan dari keluarga dan teman
Meskipun biasanya pada saat-saat seperti ini, Anda lebih senang atau membutuhkan waktu untuk sendiri tetapi tidak ada salahnya Anda berada dekat dengan orang-orang yang peduli dan menyayangi Anda seperti keluarga ataupun teman-teman akrab. Menghabiskan waktu bersama keluarga dan teman bisa akan membantu untuk kembali membangkitkan semangat dan harga diri serta rasa percaya diri Anda. Biasanya hubungan buruk menghancurkan semua ini. Dan Anda membutuhkan bantuan untuk kembali memperbaiki hal ini.
2. Coba kembali kenali diri sendiri
Ini mungkin membutuhkan waktu yang cukup lama di mana Anda bisa melakukannya. Anda harus melihat kesalahan yang Anda lakukan dan itu terlepas dari kesalahan yang dibuat orang lain. Anda butuh meluangkan waktu untuk lebih mengenal diri Anda sendiri. Lagipula, setiap orang yang menjadi bagian dari kehidupan Anda pasti akan mengalami perubahan. Dan itu harus Anda ketahui bahwa hubungan juga telah berubah dan Anda harus bergerak maju sehingga perubahan tidak akan mengejutkan Anda ataupun orang lain ketika Anda memulai suatu hubungan baru.
3. Ubah sikap Anda dalam mengatasi putus cinta.
Setelah membuat keputusan untuk mengakhiri hubungan, Anda harus bisa menanganinya sampai bisa kembali menjalin hubungan baru. Hindari untuk menyakiti diri sendiri dan membawa kenangan masa lalu dengan mantan pacar Anda. Hilangkan semua yang berhubungan dengan mantan, hapus foto, surat-surat cinta agar tak membuat Anda ingat lagi dengan masa lalu. Dan yang terpenting adalah Anda harus mengingat bahwa ini adalah awal untuk memulai kehidupan baru. vivanews.com
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